Without this skill, your kids will have a hard time finding success.

Jiu-Jitsu Portland kids goldsIf you are a parent reading this, I would guess that you do everything you can to help your child have every opportunity possible. We push them in school to get better grades, get them involved in sports, music, martial arts, dance, gymnastics, swimming, and the list goes on. Even with all our support kids are under a lot of pressure to fit in at school, connect with friends, perform well in their academics and extracurricular activities. At times it is easy for them to feel as if they can’t do certain things.

The word CAN’T is one I propose you teach your children to take out of their vocabulary. When they say, they can’t do something they are giving up. What we want them to do is find a way to accomplish the things that others give up on. Here are a few examples of how we can adjust our thoughts to find a strategic solution rather than submitting to adversity.

I can’t do that I don’t have enough time.

We all have the same amount of time. Why is it that some people can create successful companies, win national jiu-jitsu champion titles, become valedictorians, or write successful novels while others struggle to work an 8-hour day? Can’t is not in their vocabulary; they find a way.

I can’t do that I’m not good enough.

Muay Thai portlandHow do you get good enough? Do you want to win, get good grades, and excel in your job? We must teach our children to understand that it takes discipline, consistency, and effort to get good at anything. If you are on your high school soccer team and the team practices four times per week, you diligently go to every practice like all the other kids, but still, you sit on the bench every game. This does not mean you are not good enough. It means you must put in the practice, conditioning, and mental training time in addition to the normal practice sessions to catch up and pass the other teammates.

I can’t do the dishes I have too much homework.

Learn to focus, distractions are a time killer. With my kids, it is a constant battle pulling them away from their screens. It is our responsibility to teach them how to balance this time to accomplish everything they are capable of. I can guarantee you that most kids will never have too much homework to miss a day of watching videos on Tik Tok, texting their friends on snap chat, or playing video games with their friends.

I can’t score the goal they are too fast.

Yes, there most likely will always be roadblocks to scoring the goal, winning the game, or getting an A+ on the midterm. We can only control what we do. Without keeping a positive mindset and believing in yourself, you will never excel in anything. With hard work and focus, you can always find a way to score.

I can’t get an A in math I do not understand.

kids martial arts portlandNot everyone learns at the same pace. Did you just accept the C- you received on your math quiz? Invest in more study time. Look for online support. Ask your teacher for guidance. You can get an A. As a teacher for over 30 years, I have heard many people tell me they can’t do it. Sometimes this is almost comical depending on the circumstance. If you try something twice and cannot do it, this is understandable if you are unsuccessful, it does not mean you can’t do it. Some things take thousands of repetitions. One of my old teachers used to say, “do it 1000 times if you don’t get it by then, I can’t help you” this always made me chuckle. How many people will do it a thousand times? We need to find the motivation to do the work and then reward ourselves for the small hurdles and accomplishments as we progress.

I could list a hundred examples to demonstrate this message. Can’t is a killer to motivation, and positive attitudes. We want our kids to be able to take on the world and become the Michael Jordans, Mia Hamms, Bill Gates, and Professors that positively influence our society. Taking can’t out of our kid’s vocabulary teaches them how to build the lives they desire.